Back to Kukurantumi

Back to Kukurantumi  

I want to go back to Kukurantumi.

Back when I was

in diapers, naked,

in the flesh.

Not a care in the world.

Back when I didn’t know what

skinny or fat was.

Back when my waist beads hid under

my shirt and jeans, and shaking my thighs

and hips was a celebration– without

a camera lens; not

for attention. Just my body and I.

My body and no other eyes.

I want to go back to Kukurantumi.

Back when I did not care about makeup.

But now I wake up

to make-up a full face.

First, liquid Foundation,

layer after layer, I build it up. Then,

I conceal any imperfections. Until I’m-perfect.

I flash my Maybelline lashes

when I lie.

I want to go back to

the days when I did not lie

and it was only true that I told the truth.

But I hope I still recognize Me.

I want to go back to trusting my

intuition. Back when trusting my

intuition meant thinking freely.

Back when thinking freely was free.

But now it’s in-my-tuition.

Liberal is what we call it now.

A learned (cultivated) woman I am.

But still a girl learning to

love and stare

at the rolls on her neck that takes her

back. Back to Kukurantumi.

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